Self-Soothing Techniques

Victoria

I am with Sequoia on this one. As a wonderful Self Soothing Technique I imagine walking effortlessly through the countryside on a crisp to cold early winter's day, and just drinking it all in.

My other favourite resources with which to Self Soothe, are remembering just how blissful it is to be able to stretch out and sleep in a comfortable bed after a long overseas flight during which you have spent about 14 hours sitting up in a cramped space. That, and sinking slowly into a hot bath at the end of an exhausting day.

OK, not very original, I know, but oh so perfect!

Victoria

George (NY, USA)

Regarding Resources: A resource that has often worked for me, that tends to put me into a more objective place of reflection, is the meditative technique of focusing on a single object in the environment, no matter what that may be, and trying to think only of that thing.

Other thoughts are allowed to come in and flow out, but I try to hold onto only those thoughts that come closest to what I understand that object to be (a brick on a building, for example). I try to continually return to an understanding of the object in the simplest form I can understand it in.

After doing this for a while, I usually find myself to be more in control of my emotions, not to say that that translates into other forms of success, but at least it tends to give me some emotional stability.

I struggle with issues with authority, which I was reading about in this site. Very helpful, to everyone who described their experiences, and to Shrinklady's responses. It seems difficult for me to differentiate between instances when I am overreacting to authority in a paranoid fashion, and when I am reacting to a situation where someone is trying to demean me, or others who I may try to stick up for.

I am certainly hypersensitive to authority, and reading about this has been helpful. The struggle, for me, is to understand when a reaction to authority is appropriate.

George

Cath (Burnaby, Canada)

I eat to soothe myself. Or try and avoid people and go to my bedroom or hotel room (I travel for work alot) and channel surf oh and eat.

Looking to find a better way...

Cath

Hi Cath, I hope you'll find some inspiration here. When I got your post, I thought it might be timely to add a few inspirational videos to the site. You might enjoy checking them out when you need a little lift.

And just so you know, travelling can be pretty hard on the nervous system especially if you move through different time zones. That means you may find the compensatory mood swings a bit hard to manage.

Don't worry too much about avoiding people at times. That's just what your nervous system needs to do as it regroups or recalibrates itself. The important thing is to make  time for your nervous system so it can handle your schedule. Yoga, body-based mediation and body psychotherapy are probably the best ways I know how. A good hot bath works in a pinch too.

Shrinklady

I heard back from Cath and she was pretty up to date with good videos to watch. She sent me this one by Jill and Kevin Heinz  - I laughed till I cried!

 

Diane (Michigan, USA)

When I am really stressed, guided imagery is a great resource.

Diane

I couldn't agree more Diane. I use it all the time both professionally and personally. Shrinklady

Karie (Chatham, Ontario, Canada)

 

I find that wrapping tightly in a blanket and rocking in my rocking chair soothes me when I'm feeling stressed or vulnerable.

Of course, chocolate works too.

Karie

catgirl (California, USA)

When I feel overwhelmed, I put myself back to a place that was safe to me when I was a child. I imagine that I am laying on the kitchen chairs, tucked underneath the kitchen table. I can practically feel the vinyl of the chair beneath my cheek, and the sawdust feel of the bottom of the particle board table on my fingertips.

I smell the after dinner smells of the food fading away and the dishwasher liquid emanating through the air. I hear my mom's footsteps walking into the kitchen and see her short white socks with the colored balls at the ankles. I feel safe.

Mom's there, and no one knows that I'm there. Remembering that safe place helps me to ground.

I also have a list of things that help me to feel better, like playing basketball, skateboarding, playing with my daughter, and reading, that I compiled with my therapist. When I feel stressed, sometimes I pull out this list and do something from it. Through doing this, I begin to feel who I am, I feel myself. When I get really off-track, I lay on my side, cover up with a special blanket, hug a special stuffed monkey, curl up in a ball, and suck my thumb. That always makes me feel comforted and safe.

Catgirl

Still unclear (Vancouver, Canada)

I started recently writing poetry
not sure if I was going to enjoy it,
Now when I feel the end of my rope
is dangling I reach for my website
and write my heart out. At first I was not sure if I could submit a poem, and allow it to be rated. I leaped ahead and wrote a poem
allowing feed back. I felt raw almost unclothed
received some feed back great at first; then a few hurtful rude nasty comments. I almost stopped going to this site, few days later
I wrote two more allowing feedback, accepting
I began writing for me and I feel better, sense of achievement, needless to say I have now written 43 poems and I am still as happy as the first
one I wrote.
Thanks for your site
and you are doing
a real kind service
I wish you inner peace

Still Unclear

Searching for Meaning (Vancouver, Canada)

I find that reading inspirational books is a great self-soothing technique. I'm just about finished reading "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl and I wish everyone could read it. It has some very good insights that I think many people would find helpful whether they are in therapy or not.

The biggest surprise I encountered is that a lot of suffering is not the result of neuroses and can actually be helped fairly quickly.

Thank you Shrinklady for your efforts to make this world a better place and wishing everyone well!

Searching for Meaning