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How to Deal with Depression
By: Dr. Suzanne LaCombe, January 22, 2007.
Reviewed by: Dr. Carole Gaato
If you are in counseling and dealing with depression, it helps to remember that your progress will not be non-stop, continuous. You will still find yourself in a hole from time to time...having dips (a.k.a "sh*t happens")--and those dips can feel like the worst day of your life!
At times like these, you can feel as if you are regressing. Actually "setbacks" like this are a normal part of recovery.
Even when wonderful, joyful things (a.k.a. positive energy infusions) happen in your life--paradoxically--you can once again trip into a state of despair. You see, old patterns are just that, old neuropathways. They don't just disappear because you are having a positive experience.
Recovery from Depression
The good news is as recovery progresses, new connections in the brain are created.
Remember, the brain is a living organism that adapts to novel experience by "rewiring" memory and procedural circuits. It takes time for new growth to appear and consolidate gains in counseling.
Recovery means that the tendency to move into states of despair occurs less frequently. That is, the dips show up further apart. Moreover, even if we do fall into a dark state, remarkably, we don't remain there as long.
It is only when you are well into recovery that dips into despair are less likely to happen. There's no guarantee that we never go back. For instance, in the event of sudden or drastic circumstances, old neuropathways can be retriggered.
However, with new regulated pathways the probability is dramatically reduced.
Essentially, the more resourced you are the greater your capacity for managing sudden influxes of energy. The more regulated neuropathways you have--the more joy--and the less likely you are to revisit those dark places.
Developing New Pathways
The purpose of this site is to help you appreciate that new neuropathways are most effectively developed in counseling with the help of an empathetic, attuned therapist. It's because of this relationship between you and your therapist--one nervous system to another--that the brain learns new ways to manage emotions.
I think most therapists would agree that progress in counseling has its' ups and downs. The development of new neuropathways in therapy is not smooth. It's marked by small, seemingly random peaks of understanding and insight as new neural growth occurs.
As this growth in the nervous system is stabilized and integrated, and new behaviors and ways of being are experienced, the influence of the old pathways fades away.
The Right Brain and Depression
Once you appreciate that depression is primarily an inabiliy of the nervous system to manage energy you'll understand how your recovery will proceed.
Let me explain.
Think of your nervous system as a container. Any stimulation, whether positive or negative, adds to this container. Once you are "full" your nervous system is essentially flooded. It responds to this influx of energy or increase in activation by shutting down sensory inputs. You'll often feel numb as a consequence.
On any given day the ability of your nervous system to process energy will vary. If you stayed home to recuperate one day, you may feel you have enough room in your container to go out of the house the next.
"Can't Get No Satisfaction!"
I emphasize right brain activities a lot on this site because I believe they promote and support your emotional healing. Music, dance, painting--literally any creative activity--can help to calm and integrate the nervous system. As your activation diminishes you'll find yourself better able to experience real satisfaction and pleasure.
And as you bring more of these activities into your life a funny thing happens. They start to work synergistically with other activities.
Let me explain.
A hallmark symptom of depression is the loss of enthusiasm for almost everything. Activities that used to give you pleasure now feel empty and meaningless. Good feelings are no longer savored, they're endured.
Yes, that's what I said, "endured".
Most people suffering from depression will tell you that sitting with a friend is much easier to handle than a group of friends.
You see, when we're depressed even positive sensations if felt for too long are difficult for the nervous system to process. Both positive and negative emotions raise your level of activation.
When the nervous system becomes overly activated (i.e. by too much positive or negative input), it reacts by "turning down the volume". Senations are muted and emotions downplayed.
Let me give you an example.
In the midst of my depression I might contemplate being on my deck in the afternoon sun as I once did as a child. My mind takes me there quite sporadically yet also intentionally as I attempt to resource myself. As I do so, my internal state changes. I feel warm inside, my nervous system settles down a notch.
However, if I relax into that state too long, basking in the memory of that idylic moment, I run the risk of losing this memory's potential for postive resonance. For even positive sensations can fill your container (positive or negative, energy is energy). Pleasurable moments can eventually be swallowed up by that dull way of being that characterizes depression.
Counseling and Depresssion
Counseling provides the framework to develop neuropathic connections that you are less likely to develop on your own. A non-judging, caring relationship provides the necessary safety to help the nervous system relax into a positive state.
In the company of an attuned therapist, you have a better chance of going deeper and longer into states of positive resonance (i.e. as you imagine--during a moment in your counseling session--lying on a beach, swimming like a dolphin, or dancing with a partner).
Many of us are aware that counseling helps us manage uncomfortable emotions. Yet, few know that this is just the beginning. Counseling provides the necessary conditions for learning how to experience positive emotions and expand our capacity for joyfulness.
Tips to help your recovery
The best strategy is to focus on experiencing little pleasures, a little at a time. By doing this, you will learn to increase your ability to experience bigger pleasures, and for longer periods. This process helps your nervous system "grow" back to health.
Things that in the midst of depression gave you no pleasure will now begin to make you smile.
Try to find and cherish those little comforts in spite of the depression. Approach each task like a smorgasbord--try a variety of small portions rather than a huge serving of just one thing. Later, as your capacity to experience pleasure increases, you'll be able to stay in positive resonanace with each moment for a little longer.
And if you practice this in combination with your counseling, your nervous system will respond. It will literally expand its capacity to take in excitement and your tendency to experience real satisfaction will naturally increase.
Best wishes on your journey!
Dr. Suzanne LaCombe
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